That kind of love
by Avandra the Mary Sue Slayer
Summary: A tribute to Anya. Her last thoughts before she died. Set in "Chosen", quite obvious . Songfic: "I'll be Mrs." by Emma Caulfield. Yeah, the one Anya sang in "Selfless"! AnyaxXander. Rated T for death. Again, quite obvious.


**My first Buffy fanfic! And of course it's about Anya, my favorite character ever! It's just a songfic that I felt like writing. Read and review, and if any of you likes Teen Titans, take a look on my story "Crossroads"! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer (sigh-this is so stupid… This is a FANFIC, how the hell are we going to claim ANYTHING?) I don't own Buffy The Vampire Slayer.**

That kind of love

_We'll never part, not if we can_

_And if we start, then here's my plan:_

_I'll show him what bliss is _

_Welcome him with kisses_

_Cause this is a Mrs. who misses her man_

The song went into her head again. How she could be thinking of _that_ song in her current situation, she didn't know. She did know something else, though.

Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins was not going to make it.

She didn't know very well how she knew that. Maybe the fact of having been slashed with a sword, practically being cut in two halves, was the answer to her doubts. How she hadn't died yet, was a complete mystery. Maybe she still kept something from the demon she used to be, after all, a woman (or a man, for that matter) didn't spend more than a thousand years being a vengeance demon without retaining any of her old demonic features. She just gave thanks it was her toughness and not her face; as Anyanka, she wasn't very attractive according to human standards, and she had lately found this relatively important, since she had been engaged to a human and all.

_He's my Xander and he's awfully swell_

_It makes financial sense as well_

_Although he can be "I'll never tell"_

_Just stand aside…_

_Here comes the bride!_

That damned song again… Why was she remembering this? She was _dying_, she should be having _anything else_ in her mind but that song, she wasn't even supposed to be able to think at all! Did the words "excruciating pain" mean anything to her? It didn't seem so.

_He's my Xander… My Xander…_ Those particular lyrics had got stuck in her mind. She started to remember the night before. They hadn't exactly become reconciled; they had agreed that their feelings for each other would never disappear, even if both of them lived a thousand years (_another_ thousand years, Anya had thought) they would never stop loving each other. He had been the man of her life and she had been the woman of his life, it was just that simple, or at least it had been supposed to be simple, until the day he had left her at the altar. He didn't want to hurt her? That was funny in more than a way; because he DID hurt her when he had left her, he hurt her A LOT. The other funny thing was that, in that fake what-if future he had seen, she ended up being killed by him, and that was what he had tried to avoid by breaking her heart. Now she was lying on a pool of her own blood. Don't say it wasn't funny. Huh? Don't say who? Who shouldn't say anything? She couldn't see anymore, was anyone there? Andrew… she remembered saving his life. To think she had died to save _that idiot_… He was the person in Buffy's place who understood her better, apart from Xander, of course, and maybe Spike. The vampire was very understanding, and very hot, too, she would never understand Buffy. So her best friends had been a supervillain wanna-be and an eunuch vampire with soul in love with a Vampire Slayer. Goody.

So this was the end… and all she could think about now was that damned song (curse light music) and the man she had fallen in love with four years ago. Fallen in love? That just didn't make justice to the feelings she had for him. Her whole existence as a human had been entirely consecrated to him; she literally had no reason to keep going without him. That was why she had accepted D'Hoffryn's offer to become a vengeance demon once more. It hadn't been the first time he had tried to tempt her, though…

_Flashback_

"_So, Anyanka…"_

"_I just go by Anya now, D'Hoffryn" Anya retorted, glaring at her former boss._

"_Are you sure, my dear? Wouldn't you like to be the feared Anyanka again?" D'Hoffryn asked with his cunning smile._

"_No, thanks, I'd much rather keep being human" she answered, still glaring daggers at the demon._

"_Even if you have to die someday?" he insisted._

_She paused for a moment. D'Hoffryn knew he had won, he knew very well how she used to be fond of her immortality._

"_Even if I have to die" was her sudden reply._

_This startled D'Hoffryn. He wasn't expecting this. _This _wasn't his Anyanka._

"_Why?" he asked raising his tone along with his anger._

"_Because I've found things that are worth being human for" she said, looking into the glass window that led to the rest of her and Xander's apartment (they were at the balcony now)._

"_That human? You're leaving your old boss, your old powers, your old job, your old life, for a HUMAN?" D'Hoffryn couldn't believe what he was hearing, the frog eyes soup must have disagreed with him! He had to think of a good reply, and quickly, or he was going to lose her for good._

"_Anyanka, my dear…"_

"_Anya" she interrupted him coolly._

"_Anya" he corrected himself, "Have you really thought of what you are going to do? If what Sweet just told me is true, he was the one who summoned him here. Do you really want to get tied to someone as… incompetent… as him?"_

"_I know he makes his mistakes sometimes and that he's rather clumsy, apart from being totally clueless when it comes to fighting evil… Wait a minute; did you say that Sweet told you about him?"_

"_Indeed, he told me a lot about his stance in Sunnydale"._

_Anya narrowed her eyes in suspicion._

"_What did he exactly tell you?" she asked, already knowing where this was heading._

"_He said you two are going to get married, but when his musical spell reached you, you both confessed (with a very good song, I must add) that you're not ready for marriage. I got pretty worried about you, you know…"_

"_So you decided to come here to convince me to go back with you, taking advantage of my doubts" she sharply pointed out to him._

_He cursed mentally. He had underestimated her intelligence. How could he have been so foolish? It was almost impossible to trick Anyanka. He had to find other way to convince her of coming back to him._

"_I'll be sincere with you…" he started._

"_Really? It must be the first time you are" she interrupted him, her voice full of sarcasm._

"_Like I was saying before your interruption, I'm going to tell you the truth. Yes, I have tried to take advantage of your current situation, but that was just because I'm really worried about you. Do you think it's easy to be a mortal? Mortals are weak and their time among the living is limited. And not only that, do you think it's easy to be married? I think you've had enough experience with that matter to know that it won't end up well. Are you even sure that you love him? Not just physical love, or that corny display of void speeches that humans usually call "love", no, I'm talking about real love, the one that isn't expressed with words, the one that makes you do anything for the other person, the one that makes you risk everything (including your life) for him, the one that makes you completely and absolutely _selfless_. Tell me, Aud, Anya, Anyanka or whatever your name is, if you stayed with him, would you find that kind of love?"_

_Anya paused to think. Did she love Xander like that? She thought so, but what if she didn't? What if he didn't love her that way? D'Hoffryn's words had got to her. She was getting mad._

"_Go away, and don't ever come back again into this house" she said, barely in a whisper, though her voice held more rage than Hell itself._

_D'Hoffryn smirked. He knew he had won, and that it was only a matter of time before she came back to him._

"_As you wish" he replied. "If you ever change your mind, however, I will welcome you gladly"._

_He then disappeared, leaving Anya alone with her fears and worries…_

_End flashback_

Maybe D'Hoffryn was right… Maybe if she hadn't asked him to turn her back to a human, none of this would have happened, and she would still be alive now. Maybe…

The image of Xander popped into her mind again… His smile… How she loved that smile! It showed the beautiful and caring soul hiding behind it. The truth was that, despite what had happened at her "not-wedding", he had always been there for her, to help her through her toughest moments (like when Buffy had tried to kill her), to make her smile when she felt like crying, to give her courage when she wanted to run away…

And she understood it now. Being with him had made her a better person, someone who didn't hesitate to help a friend, someone who didn't run away from the battle, someone who would fight side by side with her friends until the end, someone who didn't mind sacrificing her life for others… especially for him…

The song popped into her mind once again. She had sung it just after D'Hoffryn's departure. She started to sing along weakly.

_I'll be Mrs._

_I will be his Mrs._

_I will be…_

Her song was interrupted when she started coughing up blood. She knew the end was near. They had been only seconds, maybe a minute or even two, but it had felt like an eternity to her. Strangely, she was OK with that. She had finally found the answer she had been looking for since she had got engaged to Alexander Harris.

"Yes, D'Hoffryn" she whispered. "I have found it".

Everything had gotten darker, the pain was gone now, and she started to feel sleepy…


End file.
